Bertha garlan

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TheProjectGutenbergEBookofBerthaGarlan,byArthurSchnitzler ThiseBookisfortheuseofanyoneanywhereatnocostandwithalmostno restrictionswhatsoever Youmaycopyit,giveitawayorre-useitunderthe termsoftheProjectGutenbergLicenseincludedwiththiseBookoronlineat www.gutenberg.net Title:BerthaGarlan Author:ArthurSchnitzler PostingDate:November12,2011[EBook#9955]ReleaseDate:February,2006 FirstPosted:November4,2003 Language:English ***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKBERTHAGARLAN *** ProducedbyCharlesAldarondo,MaryMeehan,andtheProjectGutenberg OnlineDistributedProofreadingTeam BERTHAGARLAN BYARTHURSCHNITZLER I Shewaswalkingslowlydownthehill;notbythebroadhighroadwhichwound itswaytowardsthetown,butbythenarrowfootpathbetweenthetrellisesofthe vines Herlittleboywaswithher,hangingontoherhandandwalkingallthe timeapaceinfrontofher,becausetherewasnotroomonthefootpathforthem towalksidebyside Theafternoonwaswelladvanced,butthesunstillpoureddownuponherwith sufficientpowertocausehertopullherdarkstrawhatalittlefurtherdownover herforeheadandtokeephereyeslowered Theslopes,atthefootofwhichthe littletownlaynestling,glimmeredasthoughseenthroughagoldenmist;the roofsofthehousesbelowglistened,andtheriver,emergingyonderamongstthe meadowsoutsidethetown,stretched,shimmering,intothedistance Nota quiverstirredtheair,anditseemedasifthecooloftheeveningwasyetfar remote Berthastoopedforamomentandglancedabouther Saveforherboy,shewas allaloneonthehillside,andaroundherbroodedacuriousstillness Atthe cemetery,too,onthehilltop,shehadnotmetanybodythatday,noteventheold womanwhousuallywateredtheflowersandkeptthegravestidy,andwith whomBerthausedoftentohaveachat Berthafeltthatsomehowaconsiderable timehadelapsedsinceshehadstartedonherwalk,andthatitwaslongsinceshe hadspokentoanyone Thechurchclockstruck—six So,then,scarcelyanhourhadpassedsinceshe hadleftthehouse,andanevenshortertimesinceshehadstoppedinthestreetto chatwiththebeautifulFrauRupius Yeteventhefewminuteswhichhadslipped awaysinceshehadstoodbyherhusband'sgravenowseemedtobelongpast "Mamma!" Suddenlysheheardherboycall Hehadslippedhishandoutofhersandhadrun onahead "Icanwalkquickerthanyou,mamma!" "Wait,though!Wait,Fritz!"exclaimedBertha "You'renotgoingtoleaveyour motheralone,areyou?" Shefollowedhimandagaintookhimbythehand "Arewegoinghomealready?"askedFritz "Yes;wewillsitbytheopenwindowuntilitgrowsquitedark." Beforelongtheyhadreachedthefootofthehillandtheybegantowalktowards thetownintheshadeofthechestnuttreeswhichborderedthehigh-road,now whitewithdust Hereagaintheymetbutfewpeople Alongtheroadacoupleof wagonscametowardsthem,thedrivers,whipinhand,trudgingalongbesidethe horses Thentwocyclistsrodebyfromthetowntowardsthecountry,leaving cloudsofdustbehindthem Berthastoppedmechanicallyandgazedafterthem untiltheyhadalmostdisappearedfromview InthemeantimeFritzhadclamberedupontothebenchbesidetheroad "Look,mamma!SeewhatIcando!" Hemadereadytojump,buthismothertookholdofhimbythearmsandlifted himcarefullytotheground Thenshesatdownonthebench "Areyoutired?"askedFritz "Yes,"sheanswered,surprisedtofindthatshewasindeedfeelingfatigued Itwasonlythenthatsherealizedthatthesultryairhadweariedhertothepoint ofsleepiness Shecouldnot,moreover,rememberhavingexperiencedsuch warmweatherinthemiddleofMay Fromthebenchonwhichshewassittingshecouldtracebackthecourseofthe pathdownwhichshehadcome Inthesunlightitranbetweenthevine-trellises, upandup,untilitreachedthebrightlygleamingwallofthecemetery Shewasin thehabitoftakingawalkalongthatpathtwoorthreetimesaweek Shehad longsinceceasedtoregardsuchvisitstothecemeteryasanythingotherthana merewalk Whenshewanderedaboutthewell-keptgravelpathsamongstthe crossesandthetombstones,orstoodofferingupasilentprayerbesideher husband'sgrave,or,maybe,layinguponitafewwildflowerswhichshehad pluckedonherwayup,herheartwasscarcelyanylongerstirredbytheslightest throbofpain Threeyearshad,indeed,passedsinceherhusbandhaddied,which wasjustaslongastheirmarriedlifehadlasted Hereyesclosedandhermindwentbacktothetimewhenshehadfirstcometo thetown,onlyafewdaysaftertheirmarriage—whichhadtakenplaceinVienna Theyhadonlyindulgedinamodesthoneymoontrip,suchasamaninhumble circumstances,whohadmarriedawomanwithoutanydowry,couldtreat himselfto TheyhadtakentheboatfromVienna,uptheriver,toalittlevillage inWachau,notfarfromtheirfuturehome,andhadspentafewdaysthere Berthacouldstillrememberclearlythelittleinnatwhichtheyhadstayed,the riversidegardeninwhichtheyusedtositaftersunset,andthosequiet,rather tedious,eveningswhichweresocompletelydifferentfromthosehergirlish imaginationhadpreviouslypicturedtoherastheeveningswhichanewlymarriedcouplewouldspend Ofcourse,shehadhadtobecontent Shewastwenty-sixyearsoldandquitealoneintheworldwhenVictorMathias Garlanhadproposedtoher Herparentshadrecentlydied Alongtimebefore, oneofherbrothershadgonetoAmericatoseekhisfortuneasamerchant Her youngerbrotherwasonthestage;hehadmarriedanactress,andwasplaying comedypartsinthird-rateGermantheatres Shewasalmostoutoftouchwith herrelationsandtheonlyonewhomshevisitedoccasionallywasacousinwho hadmarriedalawyer Buteventhatfriendshiphadgrowncoolasyearshad passed,becausethecousinhadbecomewrappedupinherhusbandandchildren exclusively,andhadalmostceasedtotakeanyinterestinthedoingsofher unmarriedfriend HerrGarlanwasadistantrelationofBertha'smother WhenBerthawasquitea younggirlhehadoftenvisitedthehouseandmadelovetoherinarather awkwardway Inthosedaysshehadnoreasonstoencouragehim,becauseit wasinanotherguisethatherfancypicturedlifeandhappinesstoher Shewas youngandpretty;herparents,thoughnotactuallywealthypeople,were comfortablyoff,andherhopewasrathertowanderabouttheworldasagreat pianiste,perhaps,asthewifeofanartist,thantoleadamodestexistenceinthe placidroutineofthehomecircle Butthathopesoonfaded Onedayherfather, inatransportofdomesticfervour,forbadeherfurtherattendanceatthe conservatoireofmusic,whichputanendtoherprospectsofanartisticcareer andatthesametimetoherfriendshipwiththeyoungviolinistwhohadsince madesuchanameforhimself Thenextfewyearsweresingularlydull Atfirst,itistrue,shefeltsomeslight disappointment,orevenpain,buttheseemotionswerecertainlyofshort duration Lateronshehadreceivedoffersofmarriagefromayoungdoctoranda merchant Sherefusedbothofthem;thedoctorbecausehewastoougly,andthe merchantbecausehelivedinacountrytown Herparents,too,werebyno meansenthusiasticabouteithersuitor When,however,Bertha'stwenty-sixthbirthdaypassedandherfatherlosthis modestcompetencythroughabankruptcy,ithadbeenherlottoputupwith belatedreproachesonthescoreofallsortsofthingswhichsheherselfhadbegun toforget—heryouthfulartisticambitions,herloveaffairoflongagowiththe violinist,whichhadseemedlikelytoleadtonothing,andthelackof encouragementwhichtheuglydoctorandthemerchantfromthecountry receivedatherhands AtthattimeVictorMathiasGarlanwasnolongerresidentinVienna Twoyears before,theinsurancecompany,inwhichhehadbeenemployedsincehehad reachedtheageoftwenty,had,athisownrequest,transferredhim,inthe capacityofmanager,totherecently-establishedbranchinthelittletownonthe Danubewherehismarriedbrothercarriedonbusinessasawinemerchant Inthe courseofasomewhatlengthyconversationwhichtookplaceontheoccasionof hisfarewellvisittoBertha'sparents,andwhichcreatedacertainimpression uponher,hehadmentionedthattheprincipalreasonsforhisaskingtobe transferredtothelittletownwerethathefelthimselftobegettingoninyears, thathehadnolongeranyideaofseekingawife,andthathedesiredtohave somesortofahomeamongstpeoplewhowerecloselyconnectedwithhim At thattimeBertha'sparentshadmadefunofhisnotion,whichseemedtothem somewhathypochondriacal,forGarlanwasthenscarcelyfortyyearsold Bertha herself,however,hadfoundagooddealofcommonsenseinGarlan'sreason, inasmuchashehadneverappearedtoheras,properlyspeaking,ayoungman InthecourseofthefollowingyearsGarlanusedoftentocometoViennaon business,andneveromittedtovisitBertha'sfamilyonsuchoccasions After supperitwasBertha'scustomtoplaythepianoforGarlan'sentertainment,and heusedtolistentoherwithanalmostreverentattention,andwould,perhaps,go ontotalkofhislittlenephewandniece—whowerebothverymusical—andto whomhewouldoftenspeakofFrauleinBerthaasthefinestpianistehehadever heard Itseemedstrange,andBertha'smothercouldnotrefrainfromcommentingnow andagainuponit,that,sincehisdiffidentwooingintheolddays,HerrGarlan hadnotonceventuredsomuchastomaketheslightestfurtherallusiontothe past,oreventoapossiblefuture AndthusBertha,inadditiontotheother reproachestowhichshehadtolisten,incurredtheblamefortreatingHerr Garlanwithtoogreatindifference,ifnot,indeed,withactualcoldness Bertha, however,onlyshookherhead,foratthattimeshehadnotsomuchas contemplatedthepossibilityofmarryingthissomewhatawkwardman,whohad grownoldbeforehistime Afterthesuddendeathofhermother,whichhappenedatatimewhenherfather hadbeenlyingillformanymonths,Garlanreappeareduponthescenewiththe announcementthathehadobtainedamonth'sholiday—theonlyoneforwhich hehadeverapplied ItwasclearlyevidenttoBerthathathissolepurposein comingtoViennawastobeofhelptoherinthattimeoftroubleanddistress AndwhenBertha'sfatherdiedaweekafterthefuneralofhermother,Garlan provedhimselftobeatruefriend,andone,moreover,blessedwithanamountof energyforwhichshehadnevergivenhimcredit Heprevailedonhissister-inlawtocometoVienna,sothatshecouldhelpBerthatotideoverthefirstfew weeksofherbereavement,besides,insomeslightdegree,distractingher thoughts Hesettledthebusinessaffairscapablyandquickly Hiskindnessof heartdidmuchtocheerBerthaduringthosesaddays,andwhen,onthe expirationofhisleave,heaskedherwhethershewouldbehiswifeshe acquiescedwithafeelingofthemostprofoundgratitude Shewas,ofcourse, awareofthefactthatifshedidnotmarryhimshewouldinafewmonths'time havetoearnherownliving,probablyasateacher,and,besides,shehadcometo appreciateGarlanandhadbecomesousedtohiscompanythatshewasable,in allsincerity,toanswer"Yes,"bothwhenheledhertothealtarandsubsequently when,astheysetofffortheirhoneymoon,heaskedher,forthefirsttime,ifshe lovedhim Itwastruethatattheveryoutsetoftheirmarriedlifeshediscoveredthatshefelt noloveforhim Shejustlethimloveherandputupwiththefact,atfirstwitha certainsurpriseatherowndisillusionmentandafterwardswithindifference It wasnotuntilshefoundthatshewasabouttobecomeamotherthatshecould bringherselftoreciprocatehisaffection Sheverysoongrewaccustomedtothe quietlifeofthelittletown,allthemoreeasilybecauseeveninViennashehad ledasomewhatsecludedexistence Withherhusband'sfamilyshefeltquite happyandcomfortable;herbrother-in-lawappearedtobeamostgenialand amiableperson,ifnotaltogetherinnocentofanoccasionaldisplayofcoarseness; hiswifewasgood-natured,andinclinedattimestobemelancholy Garlan's nephew,whowasthirteenyearsoldatthetimeofBertha'sarrivalatthelittle town,wasapert,good-lookingboy;andhisniece,averysedatechildofnine, withlarge,astonishedeyes,conceivedastrongattachmentforBerthafromthe veryfirstmomentthattheymet WhenBertha'schildwasborn,hewashailedbythechildrenasawelcome plaything,and,forthenexttwoyears,Berthafeltcompletelyhappy Sheeven believedattimesthatitwasimpossiblethatherfatecouldhavetakenamore favourableshape Thenoiseandbustleofthegreatcitycamebacktoher memoryassomethingunpleasant,almosthazardous;andononeoccasionwhen shehadaccompaniedherhusbandtoVienna,inordertomakeafewpurchases anditsochanced,toherannoyance,thatthestreetswerewetandmuddywith therain,shevowedneveragaintoundertakethattediousandwholly unnecessaryjourneyofthreehours'duration Herhusbanddiedsuddenlyone springmorningthreeyearsaftertheirmarriage Bertha'sconsternationwas extreme Shefeltthatshehadnevertakenintoconsiderationthemerepossibility ofsuchanevent Shewasleftinverystraitenedcircumstances Soon,however, hersister-in-law,withthoughtfulkindness,devisedameansbywhichthewidow couldsupportherselfwithoutappearingtoacceptanythinginthenatureof charity SheaskedBerthatotakeoverthemusicaleducationofherchildren,and alsoprocuredforheranengagementasmusicteachertootherfamiliesinthe town Itwastacitlyunderstoodamongsttheladieswhoengagedherthatthey shouldalwaysmakeitappearasifBerthahadundertakentheselessonsonlyfor thesakeofalittledistraction,andthattheypaidherforthemonlybecausethey couldnotpossiblyallowhertodevotesomuchtimeandtroubleinthatway withoutsomereturn Whatsheearnedfromthissourcewasquitesufficientto supplementherincometoanamountadequatetomeetthedemandsofhermode ofliving,andso,whentimehaddeadenedthefirstkeenpangsandthe subsequentsorrowoccasionedbyherhusband'sdeath,shewasagainquite contentedandcheerful Herlifeuptothenhadnotbeenspentinsuchawayasto causehernowtofeelthelackofanything Suchthoughtsasshegavetothe futurewereoccupiedbyscarcelyanyotherthemethanhersoninthesuccessive stagesofhisgrowth,anditwasonlyonrareoccasionsthatthelikelihoodof marryingasecondtimecrossedhermind,andthentheideawasalwaysamere fleetingfancy,forasyetshehadmetnoonewhomshewasableseriouslyto regardinthelightofapossiblesecondhusband Thestirringsofyouthful desires,whichshesometimesfeltwithinherinherwakingmorninghours, alwaysvanishedasthedaypursueditsevencourse Itwasonlysincetheadvent ofthespringthatshehadfeltacertaindisturbanceofherprevioussensationof well-being;nolongerwerehernightspassedinthetranquilanddreamlesssleep ofheretofore,andattimesshewasoppressedbyasensationoftedium,suchas shehadneverexperiencedbefore Strangestofall,however,wasthesudden accessoflassitudewhichwouldoftencomeoverhereveninthedaytime,under theinfluenceofwhichshefanciedthatshecouldtracethecourseofherbloodas itcircledthroughherbody Sherememberedthatshehadexperiencedasimilar sensationinthedayswhenshewasemergingfromchildhood Atfirstthis feeling,inspiteofitsfamiliarity,wasyetsostrangetoherthatitseemedas thoughoneofherfriendsmusthavetoldheraboutit Itwasonlywhenit recurredwithever-increasingfrequencythatsherealizedthatsheherselfhad experienceditbefore Sheshuddered,withafeelingasthoughshewerewakingfromsleep She openedhereyes Itseemedtoherthattheairwasalla-whirl;theshadowshadcrepthalfway acrosstheroad;awayuponthehilltopthecemeterywallnolongergleamedin thesunlight Bertharapidlyshookherheadtoandfroafewtimesasthoughto wakenherselfthoroughly Itseemedtoherasifawholedayandawholenight hadelapsedsinceshehadsatdownonthebench Howwasit,then,thatinher consciousnesstimepassedinsodisjointedafashion?Shelookedaroundher WherecouldFritzhavegoneto?Oh,therehewasbehindher,playingwith DoctorFriedrich'schildren Thenursemaidwasonherkneesbesidethem, helpingthemtobuildacastlewiththesand Theavenuewasnowlessdesertedthanithadbeenearlierintheevening Bertha knewalmostallthepeoplewhopassed;shesawthemeveryday As,however, mostofthemwerenotpeopletowhomshewasinthehabitoftalking,they flittedbylikeshadows Yondercamethesaddler,PeterNowak,andhiswife; DoctorRellingerdrovebyinhislittlecountrytrapandbowedtoherashe passed;hewasfollowedbythetwodaughtersofHerrWendelein,thelandowner; eyes,andwaswatchingherfriendattentively ThenursemaderoomforBertha, andwentintotheadjoiningroom Berthasatdown,movingherchaircloserto thebed ShenoticedthatAnnawasslowlystretchingoutherhandtowardsher Shegraspedit "DearFrauRupius,"shesaid,"youarealreadygettingonmuchbetternow,are younot?" Shefeltthatshewasagainsayingsomethingawkward,butsheknewshecould nothelpdoingso ItwasjustherfatetosaysuchthingsinthepresenceofFrau Rupius,eveninherlasthour Annasmiled;shelookedaspaleandyoungasagirl "Thankyou,dearBertha,"shesaid "Butwhateverfor,mydear,dearAnna?" Shehadthegreatestdifficultyinrestraininghertears Atthesametime, however,shewasverycurioustohearwhathadactuallyhappened Alongintervalofsilenceensued Annaclosedhereyesagainandappearedto sleep HerrRupiussatmotionlessinhischair BerthalookedsometimesatAnna andsometimesathim Inanycase,shemustwait,shethought ShewonderedwhatEmilwouldsayif sheweresuddenlytodie Ah,surelyitwouldcausehimsomeslightgriefifhe hadtothinkthatshewhomhehadheldinhisarmsafewdaysbeforenowlay moulderinginthegrave Hemightevenweep Yes,hewouldweepifshewereto die…wretchedegoistthoughhewasatothertimes… Ah,butwherewereherthoughtsflyingtoagain?Wasn'tshestillholdingher friend'shandinherown?Oh,ifshecouldonlysaveher!…Whowasnowinthe worseplight—thiswomanwhowasdoomedtodie,orBerthaherself—whohad beensoignominiouslydeceived?Wasitnecessary,though,toputitsostrongly asthat,becauseofonenight?…Ah,butthathadmuchtoofineasound!…for thesakeofonehour—tohumiliateherso—toruinherso—wasnotthat unscrupulousandshameless?…Howshehatedhim!Howshehatedhim!…If onlyheweretobreakdownatthenextconcert,sothatallthepeoplewould laughhimtoscorn,andhewouldbeputtoshame,andallthepaperswouldhave thenews—"ThecareerofHerrEmilLindbachisabsolutelyended."Andallhis womenwouldsay:"Ah,Idon'tlikethatabit,afiddlerwhobreaksdown!"… Yes,thenhewouldprobablyrememberher,theonlywomanwhohadlovedhim sincethedaysofhergirlhood,wholovedhimtruly…andwhomhewasnow treatingsobasely!…Thenhewouldbesuretocomebacktoherandbegherto forgivehim—andshewouldsaytohim:"Doyousee,Emil;doyousee, Emil?"…for,naturally,anythingmoreintelligentthanthatwouldnotoccurto her… Andthereshewasthinkingagainofhim,alwaysofhim—andheresomebody wasdying,andshewassittingbythebed,andthatsilentpersontherewasthe husband… Itwasallsoquiet;onlyfromthestreet,asthoughwaftedupoverthe balconyandthroughtheopendoor,cameaconfusedmurmur—men'svoices,the rumbleofthetraffic,thejingleofacyclist'sbell,theclatteringofasabreonthe pavement,and,nowandthen,thetwitterofthebirds—butitallseemedsofar away,soutterlyunconnectedwithactuality Annabecamerestlessandtossedherheadtoandfro—severaltimes,quickly, quickerandquicker… "Nowit'sbeginning!"saidasoftvoicebehindBertha Sheturnedround Itwasthenursewiththecheerfulfeatures;butBerthanow perceivedthatthatexpressiondidnotdenotecheerfulnessatall,butwasonlythe resultofastrainedeffortnevertoallowsorrowtobenoticeable,andshe consideredthefacetobeindescribablyfearful… Whatwasitthenursehad said?…"Nowit'sbeginning."…Yes,likeaconcertoraplay…andBertha rememberedthatoncethesamewordshadbeenspokenbesideherownbed,at thetimewhenshebegantofeelthepangsofchildbirth… SuddenlyAnnaopenedhereyes,openedthemverywide,sothattheyappeared immense;shefixedthemonherhusband,and,vainlystriving,meanwhile,to raiseherselfup,saidinaquiteclearvoice: "Itwasonlyyou,onlyyou…believeme,itwasonlyyouwhomIhave…" Thelastwordwasunintelligible,butBerthaguessedit ThenHerrRupiusbentdown,andkissedthedyingwomanontheforehead Annathrewherarmsaroundhim;hislipslingeredlongonhereyes Thenursehadgoneoutoftheroomagain SuddenlyAnnapushedherhusband awayfromher;shenolongerrecognizedhim;deliriumhadsetin Bertharosetoherfeetingreatalarm,butsheremainedstandingbythebed "Gonow!"saidHerrRupiustoher Shelingered "Go!"herepeated,thistimeinasternvoice Bertharealizedthatshemustgo Shelefttheroomquietlyontip-toes,asthough Annamightstillbedisturbedbythesoundoffootsteps Justassheenteredthe adjoiningroomshesawDoctorFriedrich,whowastakingoffhisovercoatand, atthesametime,wastalkingtoayoungdoctor,theassistantatthehospital HedidnotnoticeBertha,andsheheardhimsay: "InanyothercaseIwouldhavenotifiedtheauthorities,but,asthisaffairfalls outasitdoes… Besides,therewouldbeaterriblescandal,andpoorRupius wouldbetheworstsufferer—"thenhesawBertha—"Goodday,FrauGarlan." "Oh,doctor,whatisreallythematter,then?" DoctorFriedrichthrewhiscolleaguearapidglance "Bloodpoisoning,"hereplied "Youare,ofcourse,aware,mydearFrauGarlan, thatpeopleoftencuttheirfingersanddieasaresult;thewoundcannotalways helocated Itisagreatmisfortune… Yes,indeed!" Hewentintotheroom,followedbytheassistant Berthawentintothestreetlikeonestupified Whatcouldbethemeaningofthe wordswhichshehadoverheard—"information?"—"scandal?"Yes,hadHerr Rupius,perhaps,murderedhisownwife?…No,whatnonsense!Butsomeinjury hadbeendonetoher,itwasquiteobvious…anditmusthavebeen,insome way,connectedwiththevisittoVienna;forshehadbeentakenillduringthe nightsubsequenttoherjourney… Andthewordsofthedyingwomanrecurred toBertha:"Itwasonlyyou,onlyyouwhomIhaveloved!…"Hadtheynot soundedlikeaprayerforforgiveness?"Lovedonlyyou"—but…another…of course,shehadaloverinVienna… Well,yes,butwhatfollowed?…Yes,she hadwishedtogoaway,andhadnotdonesoafterall… Whatcouldithavebeen thatshesaidonthatoccasionattherailwaystation?…"Ihavemadeupmymind todosomethingelse."…Yes,ofcourse,shehadtakenleaveofherloverin Vienna,and,onherreturn—hadpoisonedherself?…Butwhyshouldshedo that,though,ifshelovedonlyherhusband?…Andthatwasnotalie,certainly not! Berthacouldnotunderstand… Whyeverhadshegoneaway,then?…Whatshouldshedonow,too?…She couldnotrest Shecouldneithergohomenortoherrelatives,shemustgoback again… Shewondered,too,whetherAnnawouldhavetodieifanotherletter fromEmilcamethatday?…Intruth,shewaslosingherreason… Ofcourse, thesetwothingshadnottheleastconnectionbetweenthem…andyet…why wassheunabletodissociatethemonefromtheother?… Oncemoreshehurriedupthesteps Notaquarterofanhourhadelapsedsince shehadleftthehouse Thehalldoorwasopen,thenursewasintheanteroom "Itisallover,"shesaid Berthawenton HerrRupiuswassittingbythetable,allalone;thedoorleading tothedeath-chamberwasclosed HemadeBerthacomequiteclosetohim,then heseizedthehandwhichshestretchedouttohim "Why,whydidshedoit?"hesaid "Whydidshedothat?" Berthawassilent "Itwasn'tnecessary,"continuedHerrRupius,"Heavenknows,itwasn't necessary Whatdifferencecouldtheothermenmaketome—tellmethat?" Berthanodded "Themainpointistolive—yes,thatisit!Whydidshedothat?" Itsoundedlikeasuppressedwail,althoughheseemedtobespeakingvery quietly Berthaburstintotears "No,itwasn'tnecessary!Iwouldhavebroughtitup—broughtitupasmyown child!" Berthalookedupsharply Allatoncesheunderstoodeverything,andaterrible fearranthroughherwholebeing Shethoughtofherself Ifinthatnightshealso …inthatonehour?…Sogreatwasherterrorthatshebelievedthatshemustbe losingherreason Whathadhithertobeenscarcelymorethanavaguepossibility floatingthroughhermindnowloomedsuddenlybeforeher,anindisputable certainty Itcouldnotpossiblybeotherwise,thedeathofAnnawasanomen,the pointingofthefingerofGod Atthesametimetherearosewithinhermindtherecollectionoftheday,twelve yearsago,whenshehadbeenwalkingwithEmilonthebankoftheWien,and hehadkissedherandforthefirsttimeshehadfeltanardentyearningfora child Howwasitthatshehadnotexperiencedthesameyearningwhen, recently,shefelthisarmsabouther?…Yes,sheknewnow;shehaddesired nothingmorethanthepleasuresofthemoment;shehadbeennobetterthana womanofthestreets ItwouldbeonlythejustpunishmentofHeavenifshealso perishedinhershame,likethepoorwomanlyinginthenextroom "Iwouldliketoseeheroncemore,"shesaid Rupiuspointedtowardsthedoor Berthaopenedit,wentupslowlytothebedon whichlaythebodyofthedeadwoman,gazeduponherfriendforalongtime, andkissedheronbotheyes Thenasenseofunequalledrestfulnessstoleover her Shewouldhavelikedtohaveremainedbesidethecorpseforhourstogether, for,inproximitytoit,herownsorrowanddisappointmentbecameasnothingto her Shekneltdownbythebedandclaspedherhands,butshedidnotpray Allatonceeverythingdancedbeforehereyes Suddenlyawell-knownattackof weaknesscameoverher,adizzinesswhichpassedoffimmediately Atfirstshe trembledslightly,butthenshedrewadeepbreath,asonewhohasbeenrescued, because,indeed,withtheapproachofthatlassitude,shefeltatthesametime that,atthatmoment,notonlyherpreviousapprehensions,butalltheillusionof thatconfusedday,thelasttremorsofthedesiresofwomanhood,everything whichshehadconsideredtobelove,hadbeguntomergeandtofadeawayinto nothingness Andkneelingbythedeath-bed,sherealizedthatshewasnotoneof thosewomenwhoaregiftedwithacheerfultemperamentandcanquaffthejoys oflifewithouttrepidation Shethoughtwithdisgustofthathourofpleasurethat hadbeengrantedher,and,incomparisonwiththepurityofthatyearningkiss, therecollectionofwhichhadbeautifiedherwholeexistence,theshamelessjoys whichshethenhadtastedseemedtoherlikeanimmensefalsehood Therelationswhichhadexistedbetweentheparalysedmanintheroombeyond andthiswoman,whohadhadtodieforherdeceit,seemednowtobespreadout beforeherwithwonderfulclearness And,whileshegazeduponthepallidbrow ofthedeadwomanshecouldnothelpthinkingoftheunknownman,onaccount ofwhomAnnahadhadtodie,andwho,exemptfrompunishment,and,perhaps, remorseless,too,daredtogoaboutinagreattownandtoliveon,likeanyother —no,likethousandsandthousandsofotherswhohadstaredatherwith covetous,indecentglances Berthadivinedwhatanenormouswronghadbeen wroughtagainsttheworldinthatthelongingforpleasureisplacedinwoman justasinman:andthatwithwomenthatlongingisasin,demandingexpiation, iftheyearningforpleasureisnotatthesametimeayearningformotherhood Sherose,threwalastfarewellglanceatherdearlylovedfriend,andleftthe death-chamber HerrRupiuswassittingintheadjoiningroom,exactlyasshehadlefthim She wasseizedwithaprofounddesiretospeaksomewordsofconsolationtohim Foramomentitseemedtoherasthoughherowndestinyhadonlyhadthisone purpose:toenableherfullytounderstandthemiseryofthatman Shewould havelikedtohavebeenabletotellhimso,butshefeltthathewasoneofthose whodesiretobealonewiththeirsorrow Andso,withoutspeaking,shesatdown oppositetohim EndoftheProjectGutenbergEBookofBerthaGarlan,byArthurSchnitzler ***ENDOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKBERTHAGARLAN *** *****Thisfileshouldbenamed9955-8.txtor9955-8.zip*****Thisandall associatedfilesofvariousformatswillbefoundin: http://www.gutenberg.org/9/9/5/9955/ ProducedbyCharlesAldarondo,MaryMeehan,andtheProjectGutenberg OnlineDistributedProofreadingTeam Updatededitionswillreplacethepreviousone—theoldeditionswillbe renamed Creatingtheworksfrompublicdomainprinteditionsmeansthatnooneownsa 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HartistheoriginatoroftheProjectGutenberg-tmconcept ofalibraryofelectronicworksthatcouldbefreelysharedwithanyone For thirtyyears,heproducedanddistributedProjectGutenberg-tmeBookswithonly aloosenetworkofvolunteersupport ProjectGutenberg-tmeBooksareoftencreatedfromseveralprintededitions,all ofwhichareconfirmedasPublicDomainintheU.S unlessacopyrightnoticeis included Thus,wedonotnecessarilykeepeBooksincompliancewithany particularpaperedition MostpeoplestartatourWebsitewhichhasthemainPGsearchfacility: http://www.gutenberg.net ThisWebsiteincludesinformationaboutProjectGutenberg-tm,includinghow tomakedonationstotheProjectGutenbergLiteraryArchiveFoundation,howto helpproduceourneweBooks,andhowtosubscribetoouremailnewsletterto hearaboutneweBooks ... ***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOK BERTHA GARLAN *** ProducedbyCharlesAldarondo,MaryMeehan,andtheProjectGutenberg OnlineDistributedProofreadingTeam BERTHA GARLAN BYARTHURSCHNITZLER I... "ToVienna!"exclaimedRichard;thenhecalledacrosstohismother;"Isay, Aunt Bertha isgoingtoViennato-morrow!" "Who'sgoingtoVienna?"asked Garlan, whowassittingfurthestaway "Iam,"answered Bertha "What'sthis!What'sthis!"said Garlan, playfullythreateningherwithhisfinger... somesortofahomeamongstpeoplewhowerecloselyconnectedwithhim At thattime Bertha' sparentshadmadefunofhisnotion,whichseemedtothem somewhathypochondriacal,for Garlan wasthenscarcelyfortyyearsold Bertha herself,however,hadfoundagooddealofcommonsensein Garlan' sreason,
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Xem thêm: Bertha garlan , Bertha garlan