The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage, by G R M Devereux This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage Describing Modern Manners and Customs of Courtship and Marriage, and giving Full Details regarding the Wedding Ceremony and Arra Author: G R M Devereux Release Date: November 21, 2009 [EBook #30522] Language: English *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENT, MARRIAGE *** Produced by Clare Graham The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage Describing Modern Manners and Customs of Courtship and Marriage, and giving Full Details regarding the Wedding Ceremony and Arrangements By G.R.M Devereux Author of "Etiquette for Women," etc, etc First published January 1903 This etext prepared from the reprint of March 1919 published by C Arthur Pearson Ltd., Henrietta Street London and printed by Neill and Co Ltd., Edinburgh LIST OF CONTENTS Chapter Page INTRODUCTORY REMARKS 13 I THE BEGINNINGS OF COURTSHIP-FAVOURABLE OPPORTUNITIES-INTELLECTUAL AFFINITY ARTISTIC FELLOWSHIP ATHLETIC COMRADESHIP-AMATEUR ACTING SOCIAL INTERCOURSE-DIFFERENT IDEAS OF ETIQUETTE 16 II INTRODUCTIONS RECOGNITION OF AFFINITY, OR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT HOW TO 21 FOLLOW UP AN ACQUAINTANCE KINDLY OFFICES OF RELATIONS AND FRIENDS III INTERCOURSE BETWEEN UNCONFESSED LOVERS THE QUESTION OF PRESENTS-25 EXCHANGE OF HOSPITALITY THE MAN WHO LIVES AT HOME THE MAN IN ROOMS IV INTERCOURSE WITH (1) THE HOME GIRL; (2) THE BACHELOR GIRL; (3) THE BUSINESS 30 GIRL; (4) THE STUDENT OR PROFESSIONAL GIRL FRIENDS WHO BECOME LOVERS FLIRTS, MALE AND FEMALE HE CHANGES V HIS MIND ON THE VERGE OF A PROPOSAL-36 HOW SHE ACCEPTS THE SITUATION HOW SHE MAY GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT OR WARD OFF AN UNWELCOME OFFER VI THE QUESTION OF AGE YOUNG LOVERS-YOUNG MEN WHO WOO MATURITY OLD MEN 41 WHO COURT YOUTH MIDDLE-AGED LOVERS VII PROPOSALS: PREMEDITATED, SPONTANEOUS, PRACTICAL, OR ROMANTIC-NO RULE POSSIBLE TACT WANTED IN CHOICE OF OPPORTUNITY UNSEEMLY HASTE AN INSULT TO A WOMAN KEEN 46 SENSE OF HUMOUR DANGEROUS TO SENTIMENT SOME THINGS TO AVOID-VAGUELY WORDED OFFERS WHEN SHE MAY TAKE THE INITIATIVE VIII ENGAGEMENTS THE ATTITUDE OF PARENTS AND GUARDIANS MAKING IT KNOWN IN THE FAMILY, TO OUTSIDE FRIENDS-CONGRATULATIONS THE CHOICE AND 51 GIVING OF THE RING MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH FUTURE RELATIONSIN-LAW, PERSONALLY OR BY LETTER IX HIS VISITS TO HER HOME THE ENGAGED COUPLE IN PUBLIC IN SOCIETY VISITING AT THE SAME HOUSE -GOING ABOUT 56 TOGETHER, ETC. THE QUESTION OF EXPENSES X LOVE-LETTERS LONG OR SHORT ENGAGEMENTS BROKEN ENGAGEMENTS-CLANDESTINE ENGAGEMENTS JUSTIFIABLE 60 IN CERTAIN CASES WHERE THE MOTHER SHARES THE SECRET FRIENDS WHO ACT AS GO-BETWEEN XI FOREIGN ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS-BETROTHAL MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN IN 65 ENGLAND XII MARRIAGE FIXING THE DAY PREPARATIONS-SELECTING THE BRIDESMAIDS AND THEIR 71 DRESSES BUYING THE WEDDING-GOWN-THE TROUSSEAU—INVITATIONS XIII WEDDING PRESENTS CHOOSING AND FURNISHING THE HOUSE WHAT THE BRIDEGROOM SUPPLIES THE BRIDE'S SHARE IN THE MATTER XIV THE NATURE OF THE CEREMONY, RELIGIOUS OR CIVIL BANNS OR LICENSE LEGAL 81 FORMALITIES SETTLEMENTS, ETC XV THE WEDDING-DAY WHAT IS EXPECTED OF (1) THE BRIDE; (2) THE BRIDESMAIDS; (3) THE BRIDEGROOM; (4) THE BEST MAN; (5) THE BRIDE'S PARENTS AT THE BRIDE'S HOUSE DRESSING STARTING FOR THE CHURCH THE TYING OF THE KNOT SOCIAL ASPECT RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST 77 86 XVI THE GUESTS THE WEDDING PRESENTS ON VIEW STARTING FOR THE HONEYMOON-DRESS AND LUGGAGE WHERE TO GO AND HOW LONG TO STAY INEVITABLE TEST OF TEMPERAMENT POSSIBLE DISAPPOINTMENTS AND DISILLUSION, PASSING OR PERMANENT 92 XVII THE RETURN HOME A PLUNGE INTO THE PRACTICAL HOUSEKEEPING WEDDING CALLS THE NEWLY-MARRIED COUPLE AT HOME AND IN SOCIETY 97 XVIII MIXED MARRIAGES DIFFERENCES OF COLOUR, NATIONALITY, AND RELIGION-102 SCOTCH MARRIAGES MARRIAGE OF MINORS AND WARDS IN CHANCERY XIX FOREIGN ETIQUETTE OF MARRIAGE-VARIOUS CUSTOMS 107 XX RUNAWAY MATCHES RE-MARRIAGE OF WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS THE CHILDREN-THE HOME DRESS—COMPARISONS 113 XXI MARRYING FOR LOVE; FOR MONEY; FOR A HOME; FOR A HOUSEKEEPER CONCLUDING 117 REMARKS INDEX 121 {13} THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENT AND MARRIAGE ... *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENT, MARRIAGE *** Produced by Clare Graham The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage Describing Modern Manners and Customs of Courtship and Marriage, and giving Full Details regarding the. .. COLOUR, NATIONALITY, AND RELIGION-102 SCOTCH MARRIAGES MARRIAGE OF MINORS AND WARDS IN CHANCERY XIX FOREIGN ETIQUETTE OF MARRIAGE- VARIOUS CUSTOMS 107 XX RUNAWAY MATCHES RE -MARRIAGE OF WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS THE CHILDREN -THE HOME DRESS—COMPARISONS... visits, even though Charlie may receive a minimum of his attention On the other hand, fathers and brothers are not always aids to courtship They hold different views about the man to those of their womenkind, and may make things