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Overall band score 9+9+9+9 See below C&C LR GRA Model answer WRITING TASK You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words Original answer The issue of excessive packaging has become a pressing concern in today's world, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation Some believe that the onus of reducing packaging lies with manufacturers and supermarkets, while others contend that it is consumers who should make conscious choices to avoid over-packaged products This essay will examine both perspectives before arriving at a personal viewpoint On the one hand, proponents of the idea that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have the power to make significant changes in the industry As the primary creators and distributors of packaged goods, they are in a unique position to develop innovative solutions and promote sustainable practices By opting for eco-friendly materials and minimizing packaging size, for example, they can drastically decrease the environmental impact of their products In addition to this, if they actively promote the use of environmentally friendly packaging, they can foster a culture of sustainability and encourage competitors to follow suit, which could create a ripple effect, leading to a widespread reduction in packaging waste On the other hand, those who assert that customers should avoid buying overpackaged goods argue that consumer choices ultimately drive market behavior By making conscious decisions to purchase products with minimal or eco-friendly packaging, customers send a strong message to businesses that there is a demand for sustainable practices As most businesses are driven by profit, they are likely to adapt their offerings to meet this demand Plus, when an individual exercises his/her purchasing power in favor of sustainable products, it can also encourage others in his/her social circles to the same, further promoting a culture of responsible consumption From my perspective, a concerted effort from both producing and consuming ends is wholly warranted to tackle the issue of excessive packaging effectively While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to adopt sustainable practices and minimize packaging, individuals should actively seek out and support environmentally friendly products, creating a demand that incentivizes businesses to prioritize sustainability Overall band score 9+9+9+9 TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score I don’t see the point in keeping your position secret till the conclusion, but it’s probably ok You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed You chose the easiest position, which is to agree with both views, which is always the best idea when possible Your position is well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended, and coherent To me, it all seems rather idealistic, and the ideas neither paragraph are like to produce any reduction in packaging Government intervention is the only solution, but I would not mention that, as you’re given a choice between two impractical solutions You might have pointed out why excessive packaging is a pressing concern – microplastics in the environment are getting in the food chain, and we don’t know how dangerous they are yet Advice On Brainstorming For Task As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're directly relevant Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question Make sure your ideas address all parts of the question If the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least Make sure your main ideas, as stated in the first sentence of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question Make sure your supporting ideas, which follow the main ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea Be especially careful if you’ve answered similar question before, as there will always be important differences Make sure your conclusion directly answers the question, that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction The issue of excessive packaging has become a pressing concern in today's world, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation Some believe that the onus of reducing packaging lies with manufacturers and supermarkets, while others contend that it is consumers who should make conscious choices to avoid over-packaged products This essay will examine both perspectives before arriving at a personal viewpoint.[a][b] On the one hand, proponents of the idea that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have the power to make significant changes in the industry[c] As the primary creators and distributors of packaged goods, they are in a unique position to develop innovative solutions and promote sustainable practices By opting for eco-friendly materials and minimizing packaging size, for example, they can drastically decrease the environmental impact of their products In addition to this, if they actively promote the use of environmentally friendly packaging, they can foster a culture of sustainability and encourage competitors to follow suit, which could create a ripple effect, leading to a widespread reduction in packaging waste.[d] On the other hand, those who assert that customers should avoid buying overpackaged goods argue that consumer choices ultimately drive market behavior[e] By making conscious decisions to purchase products with minimal or eco-friendly packaging, customers send a strong message to businesses that there is a demand for sustainable practices As most businesses are driven by profit, they are likely to adapt their offerings to meet this demand Plus, when an individual exercises his/her purchasing power in favor of sustainable products, it can also encourage others in his/her social circles to the same, further promoting a culture of responsible consumption.[f] From my perspective, a concerted effort from both producing and consuming ends is wholly warranted to tackle the issue of excessive packaging effectively While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to adopt sustainable practices and minimize packaging, individuals should actively seek out and support environmentally friendly products, creating a demand that incentivizes businesses to prioritize sustainability.[g] C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score Excellent cohesion and coherence throughout, with no errors The sentences have a natural flow characteristic of high band score answers Paragraphing for Task I recommend you write paragraphs as follows: Write an introduction, that explains what the question is After reading the introduction, the reader should have a good idea what the essay is about, and what your position (opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long background statement Write main body paragraphs This should allow you to expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them sufficiently to get a high score If it’s a two-part question, answer the questions in the order they’re given and write one paragraph per question The main body paragraphs should be 100-120 words, and each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and or more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with lots of background information The topic sentences should directly address the question The conclusion should be consistent with the introduction and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It should directly answer the question Do not leave the examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the question If you write a third paragraph in a discuss both sides question to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered one side more than the other It is also ok to write a third body paragraph in a to what extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central topic in a short paragraph The issue of excessive packaging has become a pressing concern in today's world, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation Some believe that the onus of reducing packaging lies with manufacturers and supermarkets, while others contend that it is consumers who should make conscious choices to avoid over-packaged products[h] This essay will examine both perspectives before arriving at a personal viewpoint.[i] On the one hand, proponents of the idea that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have the power to make significant changes in the industry [j]As the primary creators and distributors of packaged goods, they are in a unique position to develop innovative solutions and promote sustainable practices By opting for eco-friendly materials and minimizing packaging size, for example, they can drastically decrease the environmental impact of their products In addition to this, if they actively promote the use of environmentally friendly packaging, they can foster a culture of sustainability and encourage competitors to follow suit, which could create a ripple effect, leading to a widespread reduction in packaging waste.[k] On the other hand, those who assert that customers should avoid buying overpackaged goods argue that consumer choices ultimately drive market behavior[l] By making conscious decisions to purchase products with minimal or eco-friendly packaging, customers send a strong message to businesses that there is a demand for sustainable practices As most businesses are driven by profit, they are likely to adapt their offerings to meet this demand Plus[m], when an individual exercises his/her purchasing power in favor of sustainable products, it can also encourage others in his/her social circles to the same, further promoting a culture of responsible consumption.[n] From my perspective, a concerted effort from both producing and consuming ends is wholly warranted to tackle the issue of excessive packaging effectively While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to adopt sustainable practices and minimize packaging, individuals should actively seek out and support environmentally friendly products, creating a demand that incentivizes businesses to prioritize sustainability.[o] LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected Band score Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control I would definitely use consumers in preference to customers The issue of excessive packaging has become a pressing concern in today's world, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation Some believe that the onus of reducing packaging lies with manufacturers and supermarkets, [p]while others contend that it is consumers who should make conscious choices to avoid over-packaged products This essay will examine both perspectives before arriving at a personal viewpoint On the one hand, proponents of the idea that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have the power to make significant changes in the industry As the primary creators and distributors of packaged goods, they are in a unique position to develop innovative solutions and promote sustainable practices By opting for eco-friendly materials and minimizing packaging size, for example, they can drastically decrease the environmental impact of their products In addition to this, if they actively promote the use of environmentally friendly packaging, they can foster a culture of sustainability and encourage competitors to follow suit, which could create a ripple effect, leading to a widespread reduction in packaging waste On the other hand, those who assert that customers should avoid buying overpackaged goods argue that consumer choices [q]ultimately drive market behavior By making conscious decisions to purchase products with minimal or eco-friendly packaging, customers[r] send a strong message to businesses that there is a demand for sustainable practices As most businesses are driven by profit, they are likely to adapt their offerings to meet this demand Plus, when an individual exercises his/her purchasing power in favor of sustainable products, it can also encourage others in his/her social circles to the same, further promoting a culture of responsible consumption From my perspective, a concerted effort from both producing and consuming ends is wholly warranted to tackle the issue of excessive packaging effectively While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to adopt sustainable practices and minimize packaging, individuals should actively seek out and support environmentally friendly products, creating a demand that incentivizes businesses to prioritize sustainability GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected Band score Grammar is used accurately a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score Punctuation is use correctly throughout Appropriate structures are used throughout The issue of excessive packaging has become a pressing concern in today's world, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation Some believe that the onus of reducing packaging lies with manufacturers and supermarkets, while others contend that it is consumers who should make conscious choices to avoid over-packaged products This essay will examine both perspectives before arriving at a personal viewpoint On the one hand, proponents of the idea that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have the power to make significant changes in the industry As the primary creators and distributors of packaged goods, they are in a unique position to develop innovative solutions and promote sustainable practices By opting for eco-friendly materials and minimizing packaging size, for example, they can drastically decrease the environmental impact of their products In addition to this, if they actively promote the use of environmentally friendly packaging, they can foster a culture of sustainability and encourage competitors to follow suit, which could create a ripple effect, leading to a widespread reduction in packaging waste On the other hand, those who assert that customers should avoid buying overpackaged goods argue that consumer choices ultimately drive market behavior By making conscious decisions to purchase products with minimal or eco-friendly packaging, customers send a strong message to businesses that there is a demand for sustainable practices As most businesses are driven by profit, they are likely to adapt their offerings to meet this demand Plus, when an individual exercises his/her purchasing power in favor of sustainable products, it can also encourage others in his/her [s]social circles to the same, further promoting a culture of responsible consumption From my perspective, a concerted effort from both producing and consuming ends is wholly warranted to tackle the issue of excessive packaging effectively While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to adopt sustainable practices and minimize packaging, individuals should actively seek out and support environmentally friendly products, creating a demand that incentivizes businesses to prioritize sustainability