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Trang 1 Overall band score 9 9+9+9+9See below C&C LR GRA Model answerWRITING TASK 2You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Write about the following topic:Some people think that a
Overall band score 9+9+9+9 See below C&C LR GRA Model answer WRITING TASK You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words Original answer It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic expression are still necessary Granted, there are certain benefits of granting artists complete freedom to express their feelings and beliefs Proponents might argue freedom of expression is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risk-taking, which is indeed of importance to innovation and social progress Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed Perhaps the foremost reason would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions In conclusion, although artistic freedom is indeed important, I would contend that it should not come at the cost of causing harm or offense to others For this reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to ensure that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it Overall band score 9+9+9+9 TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended, and coherent I disagree 100% with your views – you’ve spent too long reading the Guardian and the BBC If the right is to not be offended, the effect would be that only one point of view is ever allowed, as people are offended by the expression of a different opinion This is what we say in the “pandemic“, and as nearly always happens, those trying to should down dissent were wrong about absolutely everything Someone’s right not to be offended should not take precedence over your right to speak freely, even if you’re wrong In the tyrannical west nowadays, censorship is just used to shut down the opposition – look at what happened when Tucker Carlson revealed the truth about the J6 protests – there were calls to shut him down No one made any attempt to refute what he said – they just claimed to be offended by what is basically the truth People who have a religious objection to gay marriage are accused of hate speech People were arrested in Britain for displaying Russian flags and accused of inciting racial hatred Parents who object to their infant school children being taught about gays and transsexuals are accused of “hate speech” This is what happens when you set the censorship bar so low that you’re not allowed to offend anyone Better arguments would be that you’re not allowed to promote immoral behaviour to children, or to ban porn and excessive violence, which you mentioned Nevertheless, lots of people would agree with you, and you supported your arguments clearly, which is why I gave you for TR Advice On Brainstorming For Task As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're directly relevant Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question Make sure your ideas address all parts of the question If the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least Make sure your main ideas, as stated in the first sentence of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question Make sure your supporting ideas, which follow the main ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea Be especially careful if you’ve answered similar question before, as there will always be important differences Make sure your conclusion directly answers the question, that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic expression are still necessary [a] Granted, there are certain benefits of granting artists complete freedom to express their feelings and beliefs [b]Proponents might argue freedom of expression is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risktaking, which is indeed of importance to innovation and social progress [c] Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed[d] Perhaps the foremost reason would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions [e][f] In conclusion, although artistic freedom is indeed important, I would contend that it should not come at the cost of causing harm or offense to others For this reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to ensure that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it [g] C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score Excellent cohesion and coherence throughout, with no errors The sentences have a natural flow characteristic of high band score answers Paragraphing for Task I recommend you write paragraphs as follows: Write an introduction, that explains what the question is After reading the introduction, the reader should have a good idea what the essay is about, and what your position (opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long background statement Write main body paragraphs This should allow you to expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them sufficiently to get a high score If it’s a two-part question, answer the questions in the order they’re given and write one paragraph per question The main body paragraphs should be 100-120 words, and each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and or more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with lots of background information The topic sentences should directly address the question The conclusion should be consistent with the introduction and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It should directly answer the question Do not leave the examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the question If you write a third paragraph in a discuss both sides question to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered one side more than the other It is also ok to write a third body paragraph in a to what extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central topic in a short paragraph It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic expression are still necessary Granted, there are certain benefits of granting artists complete freedom to express their feelings and beliefs [h]Proponents might argue freedom of expression is [i]the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, [j]there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters[k] Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risktaking, which is indeed of importance to innovation and social progress [l] Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed[m] Perhaps the foremost reason would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others[n] In other words, [o]artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as [p]superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved[q] His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions In conclusion, although artistic freedom is indeed important, I would contend that it should not come at the cost of causing harm or offense to others For this reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to [r]ensure that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected Band score Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficienxt flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control Errors are rare and occur as minor slips It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic expression are still necessary Granted, there are certain benefits of [s]granting artists complete freedom to express their feelings and beliefs Proponents might argue freedom of expression is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risk-taking, which is indeed of importance to innovation and social progress Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed Perhaps the foremost reason would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed[t] For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions In conclusion, although artistic freedom is indeed important, I would contend that it should not come at the cost of causing harm or offense to others For this reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to ensure that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected Band score Grammar is used accurately a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score Punctuation is use correctly throughout Appropriate structures are used throughout It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic expression are still necessary Granted, there are certain benefits of granting artists complete freedom to express their feelings and beliefs Proponents might argue freedom of expression is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risk-taking, which is indeed of importance to innovation and social progress Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed Perhaps the foremost reason would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions In conclusion, although artistic freedom is indeed important, I would contend that it should not come at the cost of causing harm or offense to others For this reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to ensure that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it