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Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examp
Overall band score 8.5 8+9+9+9 See below C&C LR GRA Model answer WRITING TASK You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Some people think that men and women have different qualities Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women To what extent you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words Original answer It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this thinking Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on gender Overall band score 8.5 8+9+9+9 TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score The wording of the question is strange and rather extreme As the question omits the word more, the implication is that some jobs are only suitable for one gender, and your position is to disagree with this proposition, which makes sense However, at no point did you specifically use the word only (or uniquely) when you made the arguments, even though you used it in the refutation in main body paragraph The fact that most teachers and nurses are women supports the idea that there are jobs that are better suited to one gender It’s not reinforcing a toxic stereotype; it’s a reflection of reality and the choices different genders make In most modern societies, men and women are free to go for any career they like, and gender imbalances reflect the choices people make and not toxic stereotypes – which is just a western cliché If you’d used words like only/uniquely, it would be an excellent answer and good for a You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended and there are no contradictions Advice On Brainstorming For Task As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're directly relevant Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question Make sure your ideas address all parts of the question If the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least Make sure your main ideas, as stated in the first sentence of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question Make sure your supporting ideas, which follow the main ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea Be especially careful if you’ve answered similar question before, as there will always be important differences Make sure your conclusion directly answers the question, that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this thinking [a] Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses[b] Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing[c] However, this view is a sweeping generalization[d], as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, [e]and that there are numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills [f] Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields[g] In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only [h]women can thrive in the realm of beauty.[i][j][k] In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently suitable [l]for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow[m], given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on gender.[n] C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score Excellent cohesion and coherence throughout, with no errors The sentences have a natural flow characteristic of high band score answers Paragraphing for Task I recommend you write paragraphs as follows: Write an introduction, that explains what the question is After reading the introduction, the reader should have a good idea what the essay is about, and what your position (opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long background statement Write main body paragraphs This should allow you to expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them sufficiently to get a high score If it’s a two-part question, answer the questions in the order they’re given and write one paragraph per question The main body paragraphs should be 100-120 words, and each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and or more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with lots of background information The topic sentences should directly address the question The conclusion should be consistent with the introduction and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It should directly answer the question Do not leave the examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the question If you write a third paragraph in a discuss both sides question to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered one side more than the other It is also ok to write a third body paragraph in a to what extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central topic in a short paragraph It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this thinking Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses[o] Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills [p] Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields[q] In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty.[r] In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on gender LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected Band score Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this thinking Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant[s] Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on gender GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected Band score Grammar is used accurately with a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score Punctuation is used correctly throughout Appropriate structures are used throughout It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this thinking Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on gender