Model writing task 2 8.5 8989 when a country develops its technology

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Model writing task 2 8.5 8989 when a country develops its technology

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Trang 1 Overall band score 8.5 8+9+8+9See below C&C LR GRA Model answer WRITING TASK 2You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Write about the following topic:When a country develo

Overall band score 8.5 8+9+8+9 See below C&C LR GRA Model answer WRITING TASK You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out It is pointless to keep them alive To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words Original answer In an ever-progressing world, technological advancement is undoubtedly a driving force, altering our conventional ways of life This has led some to believe that this evolution would completely obliterate traditional skills and lifestyles, rendering their preservation futile In this essay, however, I will challenge this school of thought Granted, technological advances are somewhat posing a threat to traditional skills and lifestyles It is true that many age-old practices are being supplanted by more efficient, technologically advanced methods This can be seen in the diminished demand for handwritten letters due to the instantaneousness of email and text messaging By the same token, the interest in manual agriculture has dwindled drastically since the emergence of technologically enhanced farming methods like precision farming and robotic weeding Considering these factors, it seems futile to go great lengths to preserve traditional skills and lifestyles in this day and age However, I am convinced that technology can play a role in preserving, promoting, and even enhancing conventional practices, rather than completely superseding them This is evidenced by the revival of traditional textile crafts through online platforms Digital platforms host instructional videos, sell handcrafted products globally, and encourage a new generation to learn these age-old techniques This example is a testament to the fact that technology can coexist with tradition, instead of annihilating it It is also noteworthy that maintaining older skills and lifestyles is nowhere near a futile effort From a cultural standpoint, traditional practices form the bedrock of a community’s identity and heritage, offering a sense of belonging and continuity through generations Economically, they can serve as a vital source of income, particularly in regions that rely heavily on tourism Bhutan perfectly exemplifies this point In this country, traditional crafts and ways of life have become a unique selling proposition, attracting tourists globally and bolstering the economy These arguments underscore the cultural and economic benefits of protecting traditional skills and lifestyles In conclusion, while technology can indeed lead to the marginalization of certain traditional practices, it can also prove instrumental in their preservation and promotion Far from being pointless, keeping traditional skills and ways of life alive is a valuable pursuit that offers cultural enrichment and economic benefits Overall band score 8.5 8+9+8+9 TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score You didn’t say much about lifestyles, despite mentioning them a few times I’d mention close-knit and extended families, which are becoming less common You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended and there are no contradictions Advice On Brainstorming For Task As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're directly relevant  Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question  Make sure your ideas address all parts of the question If the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least  Make sure your main ideas, as stated in the first sentence of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question  Make sure your supporting ideas, which follow the main ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea  Make sure your supporting ideas are developed, which means there should be more information in the form of evidence, reasons, and/or examples  Very often, the optimum number of supporting ideas is This allows you to develop your ideas and your less likely to have isolated, unsupported ideas that could get you a for TR “some may be undeveloped/unclear” – band score TR  Be especially careful if you’ve answered similar question before, as there will always be important differences  Make sure your conclusion directly answers the question, that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction In an ever-progressing world, technological advancement is undoubtedly a driving force, altering our conventional ways of life This has led some to believe that this evolution would completely obliterate traditional skills and lifestyles, rendering their preservation futile In this essay, however, I will challenge this school of thought [a] Granted, technological advances are somewhat posing a threat to traditional skills and lifestyles[b] It is true that many age-old practices are being supplanted by more efficient, technologically advanced methods This can be seen in the diminished demand for handwritten letters due to the instantaneousness of email and text messaging By the same token, the interest in manual agriculture has dwindled drastically since the emergence of technologically enhanced farming methods like precision farming and robotic weeding Considering these factors, it seems futile to go great lengths to preserve traditional skills and lifestyles in this day and age [c] However, I am convinced that technology can play a role in preserving, promoting, and even enhancing conventional practices, rather than completely superseding them[d] This is evidenced by the revival of traditional textile crafts through online platforms Digital platforms host instructional videos, sell handcrafted products globally, and encourage a new generation to learn these age-old techniques This example is a testament to the fact that technology can coexist with tradition, instead of annihilating it [e] It is also noteworthy that maintaining older skills and lifestyles is nowhere near a futile effort[f] From a cultural standpoint, traditional practices form the bedrock of a community’s identity and heritage, offering a sense of belonging and continuity through generations Economically, they can serve as a vital source of income, particularly in regions that rely heavily on tourism Bhutan perfectly exemplifies this point In this country, traditional crafts and ways of life have become a unique selling proposition, attracting tourists globally and bolstering the economy These arguments underscore the cultural and economic benefits of protecting traditional skills and lifestyles [g][h] In conclusion, while technology can indeed lead to the marginalization [i]of certain traditional practices, it can also prove instrumental in their preservation and promotion Far from being pointless, keeping traditional skills and ways of life alive is a valuable pursuit that offers cultural enrichment and economic benefits [j] C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score Excellent cohesion and coherence throughout, with no errors The sentences have a natural flow characteristic of high band score answers In an ever-progressing world, technological advancement is undoubtedly a driving force, altering our conventional ways of life This has led some to believe that this evolution would completely obliterate traditional skills and lifestyles, rendering their preservation futile In this essay, however, I will challenge this school of thought Granted, technological advances are somewhat posing a threat [k]to traditional skills and lifestyles[l] It is true that many age-old practices are being supplanted by more efficient, technologically advanced methods This can be seen in the diminished demand for handwritten letters due to the instantaneousness of email and text messaging By the same token, the interest in manual agriculture has dwindled drastically since the emergence of technologically enhanced farming methods like precision farming and robotic weeding Considering these factors, it seems futile [m]to go great lengths to preserve traditional skills and lifestyles in this day and age However, I am convinced that technology can play a role in preserving, promoting, and even enhancing conventional practices, rather than completely superseding them[n] This is evidenced [o]by the revival of traditional textile crafts through online platforms Digital platforms host instructional videos, sell handcrafted products globally, and encourage a new generation to learn these age-old techniques This example is a testament to the fact that technology can coexist with tradition, instead of annihilating it It is also noteworthy that maintaining older skills and lifestyles is nowhere near a futile effort[p] From a cultural standpoint, traditional practices form the bedrock of a community’s identity and heritage, offering a sense of belonging and continuity through generations Economically, they can serve as a vital source of income, particularly in regions that rely heavily on tourism Bhutan perfectly exemplifies this point In this country, traditional crafts and ways of life have become a unique selling proposition, attracting tourists globally and bolstering the economy These arguments underscore the cultural and economic benefits of protecting traditional skills and lifestyles In conclusion, while technology can indeed lead to the marginalization of certain traditional practices, it can also prove instrumental in their preservation and promotion Far from being pointless, keeping traditional skills and ways of life alive is a valuable pursuit that offers cultural enrichment and economic benefits LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected Band score Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, and with only minor inaccuracies, which is good for a band score In an ever-progressing world, technological advancement [q]is undoubtedly a driving force, altering our conventional ways of life This has led some to believe that this evolution [r]would completely obliterate [s]traditional skills and lifestyles, rendering their preservation futile In this essay, however, I will challenge this school of thought Granted, technological advances are somewhat posing a threat [t]to traditional skills and lifestyles It is true that many age-old practices are being supplanted by more efficient, technologically advanced methods This can be seen in the diminished demand for handwritten letters due to the instantaneousness[u] of email and text messaging By the same token, the interest in manual [v]agriculture has dwindled drastically since the emergence of technologically enhanced farming methods like precision farming and robotic weeding Considering these factors, it seems futile to go great lengths to preserve traditional skills and lifestyles in this day and age However, I am convinced that technology can play a role in preserving, promoting, and even enhancing conventional practices, rather than completely superseding them This is evidenced by the revival of traditional textile crafts through online platforms Digital platforms host instructional videos, sell handcrafted products globally, and encourage a new generation to learn these age-old techniques This example is a testament to the fact that technology can coexist with tradition, instead of annihilating it[w] It is also noteworthy that maintaining older skills and lifestyles is nowhere near a futile effort From a cultural standpoint, traditional practices form the bedrock of a community’s identity and heritage, offering a sense of belonging and continuity through generations Economically, they can serve as a vital source of income, particularly in regions that rely heavily on tourism Bhutan perfectly exemplifies this point In this country, traditional crafts and ways of life have become a unique selling proposition[x], attracting tourists globally [y]and bolstering the economy These arguments underscore the cultural and economic benefits of protecting traditional skills and lifestyles In conclusion, while technology can indeed lead to the marginalization of certain traditional practices, it can also prove instrumental in their preservation and promotion Far from being pointless, keeping traditional skills and ways of life alive is a valuable pursuit that offers cultural enrichment and economic benefits GRA - Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected Band score Grammar is used accurately in a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score Punctuation is used correctly throughout Appropriate structures are used throughout In an ever-progressing world, technological advancement is undoubtedly a driving force, altering our conventional ways of life This has led some to believe that this evolution would completely obliterate traditional skills and lifestyles, rendering their preservation futile In this essay, however, I will challenge this school of thought Granted, technological advances are somewhat posing a threat to traditional skills and lifestyles It is true that many age-old practices are being supplanted by more efficient, technologically advanced methods This can be seen in the diminished demand for handwritten letters due to the instantaneousness of email and text messaging By the same token, the interest in manual agriculture has dwindled drastically since the emergence of technologically enhanced farming methods like precision farming and robotic weeding Considering these factors, it seems futile to go great lengths to preserve traditional skills and lifestyles in this day and age However, I am convinced that technology can play a role in preserving, promoting, and even enhancing conventional practices, rather than completely superseding them This is evidenced by the revival of traditional textile crafts through online platforms Digital platforms host instructional videos, sell handcrafted products globally, and encourage a new generation to learn these age-old techniques This example is a testament to the fact that technology can coexist with tradition, instead of annihilating it It is also noteworthy that maintaining older skills and lifestyles is nowhere near a futile effort From a cultural standpoint, traditional practices form the bedrock of a community’s identity and heritage, offering a sense of belonging and continuity through generations Economically, they can serve as a vital source of income, particularly in regions that rely heavily on tourism Bhutan perfectly exemplifies this point In this country, traditional crafts and ways of life have become a unique selling proposition, attracting tourists globally and bolstering the economy These arguments underscore the cultural and economic benefits of protecting traditional skills and lifestyles In conclusion, while technology can indeed lead to the marginalization of certain traditional practices, it can also prove instrumental in their preservation and promotion Far from being pointless, keeping traditional skills and ways of life alive is a valuable pursuit that offers cultural enrichment and economic benefits

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