[...]... can’t be found (How to manage a default divorce is discussed in Chapter 3.) 16€€|€€Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce Fault and No-Fault Divorce In the old days, someone who wanted a divorce had to show that the other spouse was at fault for causing the marriage to break down Even when both people were equally eager to get out of the marriage and the divorce was uncontested, they had to decide which... children), guaranteed to ruin chances of civil relationship in future 14€€|€€Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce Summary Divorce In many states, an expedited divorce procedure is available to couples who haven’t been married for very long (usually five years or fewer), don’t own much property, don’t have children, and don’t have significant joint debts Both spouses need to agree to the divorce, and you... lawyer, but you may want to ask a lawyer to look over your paperwork and, perhaps, to review your settlement agreement Many couples use a counselor or a mediator to help them come to agreement on property and custody issues And if you or your spouse has retirement benefits through work, you might need to hire an actuary to value them or a lawyer to prepare the court order to divide them Assuming you... turn nasty, and • how to prepare a settlement agreement to document what you and your spouse decide about property, custody, and support 2€€|€€Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce But if, despite your best efforts, you find yourself headed toward a trial, you’ll find help here, too The book will explain the unfamiliar legal terms you’re going to be hearing and tell you: • what a divorce trial really... different attorneys to take your case to trial The financial disincentive for this outcome should be obvious—you’d have to pay a second lawyer to get up to speed on your case and to do the trial work Often other professionals—usually an accountant, actuary, and a therapist—are involved in the process All of the people assisting with your divorce stay in touch with each other and work together to help you... 12 Kinds of Divorces 12 Summary Divorce .14 Uncontested Divorce 14 Default Divorce 15 Fault and No-Fault Divorce 16 Mediated Divorce .17 Collaborative Divorce .18 Arbitration 19 Contested Divorce 20 Divorce for Same-Sex Couples 21 Property, Custody, and Support... What Happens to the Children? .23 Spousal and Child Support 24 Getting Help From Experts 24 4€€|€€Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce W hether you’re thinking about getting a divorce or have already begun the process, you undoubtedly have a lot of questions Will you have to hire a lawyer and go to court? What will happen to your house? Who will get custody of the... can be a factor,€too CAUTION You’re still free to divorce even if you’re formally separated While you and your spouse agree to it, it’s fine to maintain your separation without getting a divorce for as long as you want But once one spouse wants out, it’s their right to proceed with a divorce Recently a New York couple signed a separation agreement providing that the husband couldn’t seek a divorce without... “consulting attorneys” to coach them through the process and prepare or review the settlement 18€€|€€Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce agreement at the end All in all, you might expect to pay between $2,000 and $6,000 for your share of a mediated divorce This is far less expensive than a contested divorce that settles before trial, and much, much cheaper than a case that goes all the way to trial (There’s... being divorced or married—you’re no longer married, but you’re not divorced either, and you can’t remarry But the court’s order granting the legal separation includes orders about property division, alimony, and child custody and support, just as a divorce would 10€€|€€Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce People choose legal separation instead of divorce because of religious beliefs, a desire to keep . idea— consult an attorney licensed to practice in your state. Please note Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce By Attorney Emily Doskow 2nd edition SECOND EDITION AUGUST 2008 Editor MARY RANDOLPH Proofreading. Divorces 12 Summary Divorce 14 Uncontested Divorce 14 Default Divorce 15 Fault and No-Fault Divorce 16 Mediated Divorce 17 Collaborative Divorce 18 Arbitration 19 Contested Divorce 20 Divorce for Same-Sex.