[...]... harmful and are rarely effective⎯the last thing these kids need is for someone to frantically tell them that they really ought to stop doing it But ignoring the evidence is probably worse 23 HOPE AND HEALING FOR KIDS WHO CUT So what can we do? How do we point these kids to the hope and healing we long for them to experience? It should be apparent that we must not belittle the reality of these kids circumstances... and fears about their future The bottom line is this: If we genuinely care about kids, we’ll want to take the time to hear their stories, we’ll want to help them try to make sense of some of the confusion they feel and the pain they bear, we’ll want to help them sort through their options in responding to that confusion and pain, and we’ll want to walk with them toward the Light that has given us hope. .. benefit of belonging to a family This book is about helping kids in pain find true hope and healing It’s one small step toward offering these kids what their souls were created to long for If we really want to provide this generation of young people with the kind of hope they need, we’ll have to work together in ways we may never have before The task is too large for any one group to accomplish on its... a part of your life and identity Maybe someone who really cares about you gave you this book hoping it would help you figure out how to break the cycle (That person probably feels helpless and unsure what they can do…other than to hand you something to read.) Or maybe you really want to stop⎯most self-injurers I’ve been able to get to know genuinely do and you need the hope and healing that the title... hope as we enter the messy world of self-injury together He says, “Almost without exception, those who survive a tragedy give credit to one person who stood by them, supported them, and gave them a sense of hope. ” I invite you to be available and willing to be that “one person” in the life of a young person who entrusts his or her story to you 26 CHAPTER WHY WOULD YOU (SHOULD YOU) CARE ABOUT KIDS WHO. .. other kids I know whose families and life circumstances seem stable and positive, yet they turn to self-harm as a 19 HOPE AND HEALING FOR KIDS WHO CUT way of dealing with something that’s going on inside The chaos of divorce, poverty, substance abuse, and mental illness that defined Kelly’s environment made her self-destructive choices at least somewhat understandable But what about those kids who come... motivated enough to find truth on these pages that will help you along your path to healing If you’re doing this alone, I encourage you to find an adult you trust and invite them into your story Tell that adult the truth about what’s going on and allow that person to be a voice of hope for you I know a lot of kids who have been able to kick this thing—but very few who have done so without some help from a... place to many of them I applaud the efforts of 9 HOPE AND HEALING FOR KIDS WHO CUT educators in taking proactive steps to eliminate bullying, biases, and social stratification, but the next step is to think about resources Most school counselors I know are desperately overworked and undervalued Their offices are often seen either as holding cells for unruly students or as the place where kids can get help. .. kids turn to self-harm and the reasons they give for being unable (or unwilling) to stop Because of the potentially addictive nature of self-injuring behavior, it will be important for us to think through the cycle of addiction and the relationship between self-injury and other addictive behaviors Once we have a clear understanding of what causes kids to harm themselves, we’ll consider how we can help. .. to share their stories with me if they were willing The understanding was that I might use quotations and excerpts from these writings to illustrate some of the points being made in the book I am grateful for the flood of people who shared their profound stories of both hurt and hope You know who you are May God bless you as you continue on your journey of healing, and may your words bring clarity to . blank 0310277558_hopehealing_int.indd 10310277558_hopehealing_int.indd 1 3/3/08 8:49:09 AM3/3/08 8:49:09 AM Hope and Healing for Kids Who Cut: Learning to Understand and. 90310277558_hopehealing_int.indd 9 3/3/08 8:49:10 AM3/3/08 8:49:10 AM FOR KIDS WHO CUT HOPE AND HEALING 10 educators in taking proactive steps to eliminate