ftoc.indd viii 06/02/13 11:48 AM ffirs.indd i 06/02/13 11:48 AM Jossey-Bass Short Format Series Written by thought leaders and experts in their fields, pieces in the Jossey-Bass Short Format Series provide busy, on-the-go professionals, managers, and leaders around the world with must-have, just-in-time information in a concise and actionable format To learn more, visit www.josseybass.com/go/shortform Other Titles by Laura Fredricks The Ask: How to Ask for Support for Your Nonprofit Cause, Creative Project, or Business Venture, Updated and Expanded Edition ffirs.indd ii 06/02/13 11:48 AM ffirs.indd iii 06/02/13 11:48 AM Copyright © 2013 by Laura Fredricks, JD All rights reserved Published by Jossey-Bass A Wiley Imprint One Montgomery Street, Suite 1200 San Francisco, CA 94104—www.josseybass.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation You should consult with a professional where appropriate Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores To contact Jossey-Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S at 800-956-7739, outside the U.S at 317-572-3986, or fax 317-572-4002 Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats and by print-ondemand Not all content that is available in standard print versions of this book may appear or be packaged in all book formats If you have purchased a version of this book that did not include media that is referenced by or accompanies a standard print version, you may request this media by visiting http://booksupport.wiley.com For more information about Wiley products, visit us www.wiley.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for and is on file with the Library of Congress ISBN 978-1-118-65648-8 (paper); ISBN 978-1-118-63409-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-63410-3 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-63412-7 (ebk) first edition ffirs.indd iv 06/02/13 11:48 AM Contents Introduction The Five-Step Process Step One: Know Exactly What You Want Step Two: Prepare Your Conversation 13 Step Three: Deliver With Confidence 19 Step Four: Clarify the Response 27 Step Five: Plan Your Next Move 35 Conclusion About the Author 41 43 v ftoc.indd v 06/02/13 11:48 AM ftoc.indd vi 06/02/13 11:48 AM ftoc.indd vii 06/02/13 11:48 AM ftoc.indd viii 06/02/13 11:48 AM 30 | Winning Words for Raising Money have total clarity that it is the amount that is the sticking point, but you also have the wonderful open door of the words “at this time.” You may be thinking that this is a “no” because the person said “it is more money than I think I can do,” but the ending “at this time” leaves the door open to work with him to get that amount in the near future The last example is one of my favorites because it highlights the nuances of words Your restatement referenced the need to consult a “financial advisor,” but the person clarified that it was a “financial planner who I have been working with recently.” A financial advisor and a financial planner can have two different roles for the person you are asking Additionally, look what you have uncovered at the end of this sentence: “she knows a little bit of what we have been discussing, but I would need her to know more about it.” Bingo! Now you have another open door to work with the financial planner as well as the person considering your ask I hope these examples shine a spotlight on how important it is to state what you think you heard so that you are certain of who you need to work with and in what time frame to close your ask The third action step is to ask an open-ended question You are at the point where you both have had a meeting of the minds and the person has expressed—and you have clarified—his primary concern before he can say “yes” to your ask It is through these open-ended questions that you keep your ask alive and retain the opportunity to continue your conversation The last thing you want to is have the ask come to a grinding halt or have moments of silence or, worse yet, unnecessary talk that will not help you get a better understanding of the person’s concerns c04.indd 30 06/02/13 11:47 AM Step Four: Clarify the Response | 31 Based on the preceding examples, here are some openended questions you can use: “Plenty of people have the same concern—to find a way to make this happen Can you share with us any particular things that need to be tended to first before you can make this decision?” “Undoubtedly this is a large amount of money, and we not take this ask lightly Can we talk about perhaps signing an agreement whereby you could make an initial investment and then pledge or make installment payments over the next two years?” “That is terrific you have a financial planner; we wish everyone did! Would you be amenable to our having a meeting or a three-way conversation with your planner to lift the burden on you to explain our proposal and for your financial planner to have all the facts to help her and you make the right decision?” Open-ended questions accomplish so much In the first example, it is always good to put the person at ease by saying “Plenty of people have the same concern.” It makes the person feel that she is not alone and that you are with her to help her through her concern The crucial piece of this open-ended question is “Can you share with us any particular things that need to be tended to first?” because once you know exactly what is on the person’s mind you can make suggestions for how it might be resolved The second example is perhaps the most common, because many people feel whatever amount you ask for is more than c04.indd 31 06/02/13 11:47 AM 32 | Winning Words for Raising Money they can afford If you not need the whole lump sum immediately, a good open-ended question is to ask whether the person can a pledge or pay in installments It takes the sting out of what the person may envision as a huge chunk of money being depleted from his resources If you did need the whole amount, then you have to decide whether it is better to give the person some time In that case you might use the open-ended question, “As you know, this project requires an immediate influx of cash Would it be all right with you if we came back in three months, and we put this project on hold until then, giving you the extra time you need?” As for the last example, I always think it is a good idea to offer a sincere compliment such as “That is terrific you have a financial planner; we wish everyone did!” After all, if the person is actively working with a financial planner, obviously she is serious about money and careful about investments The hard part here is the prospect of being part of the conversation, whether that be live or on the telephone, with the person you asked and the financial planner Too often we let the person discuss this with their planner, attorney, or accountant but the asker is not part of the dialogue Important details that would be persuasive to the ask are usually left out Although you may not always get the meeting or call with the third party, using this open-ended question right after the ask and response will emphasize your willingness and determination to be available in a variety of ways to help the person make this big decision I want to close this chapter with two scenarios we have not discussed yet All the examples thus far have given you ways to use your selected words and open-ended questions to keep the conversation going because you not have an answer c04.indd 32 06/02/13 11:47 AM Step Four: Clarify the Response | 33 But what if you get a definitive “no” or “yes” in response to your ask? Let us start with a “no” answer When you get a “no” and nothing further, your goal is to find out why I always say “No now does not mean no later,” so we need to find out the why to prepare for a possible future ask At this point there is only one question I ask—again, using the person’s name (and title, if appropriate) and after a thank-you for their time: “Can you share with me why you said no?” That is it, plain and simple Whatever you hear, go back and the step of stating what you think you heard This way you make sure you have a perfect understanding of why the person said no On a more joyous note, let us take the example of the person saying “yes.” Now, I know what you are thinking: What is the big deal? We got what we asked for! Why are we even discussing this here? We need to discuss it because I have seen many people so overtalk the yes that the details of what the person has just agreed to get muddied, and sometimes the person walks away with much more than what was on the table For example, let’s say you asked the person for a $1 million investment in your company, and with that comes 35 percent ownership in the company The person says, “Yes, I’ve thought about it, researched it, discussed it with my attorney, and we agree it is a wise investment and a way for me to be on a powerful board.” Whoa! The board option was not even on the table But many askers are so ecstatic to have captured the $1 million that they overlook the board seat assumption and deal with it later—or even worse, they don’t even hear the part c04.indd 33 06/02/13 11:47 AM 34 | Winning Words for Raising Money about the board seat They immediately jump into the conversation, thanking the person profusely and stating that the agreement will be sent the next day for their signature Assuming you did hear the bit about being on the board, you could save the situation and keep this a “yes” by saying something like this: “Kristen, thank you! We could not be happier Your expertise is so welcome to our emerging company Forgive me for a minute, but I not recollect us talking about a board position, so can you please share with me your thoughts about the importance of a board position?” You may find out that she would be an outstanding board member because of her contacts, her expertise, or the new money she can attract Conversely, she may have been promised a board seat by someone else in the company, or she may have assumed that a board position comes with this level of investment The bottom line is to make sure you use the three action steps: the thank-you, a statement of what you thought you heard, and asking of open-ended questions, even when you’ve received a “yes.” This will ensure that you are not saying yes to things you had not promised in your ask Clarify the Response c04.indd 34 06/02/13 11:47 AM Step Five: Plan Your Next Move W e are in the home stretch with the last of our five steps: plan the next move You have done all your work, made your best ask with your best and most convincing words, and clarified your prospect’s response But the effort will be lost if you not take just as much time now and set forth your next steps—with dates Even if the person has said “yes” to your ask, there will be follow-up to do, such as refinements to the proposal, papers to sign, timing of the payments, and a clear understanding whether you can publicize the person’s name or she wants to be an anonymous donor or silent partner Though it may seem too obvious to need mentioning, before you plan your next tailored move with each person or entity you have asked, you must remember to thank them at every opportunity Your thank-yous can be in several forms: in person right after the ask—regardless of their response—as well as in a thank-you note or letter, email, text, or telephone call I recommend thanking the person on the telephone later that day or first thing the next morning, sending a thank-you letter 35 c05.indd 35 06/02/13 11:48 AM 36 | Winning Words for Raising Money or note the day of the ask (so that they will receive it a few days later), and then later in the week sending them an email or text if you have previously used these forms of communications This way you have a solid week of thanking them The person will feel elevated and well taken care of if you send a steady stream of thank-yous in a variety of forms If another person joined you in making the ask, be sure the two of you coordinate your thank-yous For example, you can a telephone call, the other person can send a thankyou letter, and then you can send an email or text This is what I call “mixing up the communication and the communicator.” In planning your next move or moves, remember that each person merits his or her own mini campaign The kind of follow-up you for one person may be meaningless for another You should spend time thinking about the best mode as well as frequency of communications for each person so that you can bring your ask to a successful conclusion Here are two important action steps for planning your next move; they will ensure that you tailor your actions to meet the needs of the person you asked: • Track your past, present, and future communications • Focus on the timing and mode of communications you have used in the past These two action steps are very interrelated and work simultaneously First, you should select a tracking system that you like and will use, one that is readily accessible on a daily basis It can be a database, tracking software, or a cell phone app such as Allegiance Major Gifts, Sumac, PipelinePro, or Base CRM I would avoid written lists and computer spreadsheets c05.indd 36 06/02/13 11:48 AM Step Five: Plan Your Next Move | 37 because too much irreplaceable data can be lost and it is not so easily shared with your other computer systems as well as members of your team Stick with one system and make sure it is user friendly for yourself as well as members on your team Record any and all communications, including the type— telephone call, meeting, email, written correspondence—the date and time, and the location, if it was a face-to-face meeting If available and applicable, also record the connections you may have with the person, such as the people and businesses that she mentions, her hobbies and interests, vacations, animals, family, education, travel, health, politics, and religion Is this time consuming? Yes But you will need these facts to create your best next moves later on This is where the interconnection between tracking and focusing on mode of communication comes to play Before you plan your next move, you must go back and review the timing and mode of communication you have been using with each person, now that you have these recorded Believe it or not, during the follow-up many people change the mode and the timing of their communication and then wonder why the person is not responding to them If you generally telephoned this person every three weeks and were able to reach her most of the time, then not begin to send emails or text messages just because you wish to close the gift or deal If the only time you could meet with your donor was at your site or for a special event and generally after work, then invite the person to your site after work, and not offer to meet in a place where you have never met before, such as her office or a restaurant or at a different time of day My point is that it is easy to ignore established patterns when we have not properly recorded our communications with each c05.indd 37 06/02/13 11:48 AM 38 | Winning Words for Raising Money person and reviewed our track record In one of my consulting jobs we had fabulous major gift asks by the staff, but it was taking them an average six to eight months to close When we sat down with a calendar and traced our contacts—specifically, how we had reached them in the past and the frequency with which we could reach them—it all made sense Granted, some people who have been asked—such as donors, customers, and investors—will have an urgent need to close the gift or deal, so reaching them any way you can is terrific However, many, many more not have such urgency and thus have no reason to change their patterns of being reached It is our job to recognize those patterns and to stay on their communication frequency Here is an exercise you can right away Sit down with your calendar and start putting x’s on the dates and times you want to follow up with each person for each ask For example, if you generally reached Matt by texting him early Monday mornings, then put x’s on several Monday mornings with a note to follow up with a text I have found that if I not physically block out the time on my calendar, weeks or even months may go by and I will still be chasing or, in some instances, “stalking” the person to get a final answer to the ask In planning your next move or moves, it is wise to think of what creative, specific things you can say to either make it easier for the person to decide or provide the refinements that the person needed before a decision could be made It gets extremely boring if all the person hears on the answering machine is: “Hi, it’s Paul Just following up to see if you have everything you need to make a decision Feel free to call me if you need anything.” c05.indd 38 06/02/13 11:48 AM Step Five: Plan Your Next Move | 39 I suggest that, in blocking your dates and times with x’s, you also make a note of what new or exciting fact you can add that may persuade the person to say yes Here are some suggestions: “We just received a fabulous gift of $250,000, and we wanted you to be among the first to know How great it will be when your prospective gift is made! These combined gifts will make it possible for fifteen patients each year to receive the latest dialysis treatment.” “I wanted to circle back and make sure you received the packet we sent overnight, detailing the revenue projections quarter by quarter as you requested We also added the revenues generated by our two competitors I will call again next week, same time, to give you a chance to look this over—and of course, call me any time with questions or comments.” “I called to make sure you saw the front-page article with the latest research of the super health benefits of chia seeds As we have been discussing, your health is your number one priority, and our chia company is the only one that has endorsements from the three leading research authorities I’ll send you the link just in case you missed the article today We hope you feel as good as we that your investment with us is so timely.” There you have it Now you know how to track all your communications, analyze the timing and mode of communications so that you can plan your next move or moves, and reserve time on your calendar to ensure that you will make your next moves Just remember, all of these action steps work only when you actually them May you be successful with all your asks! c05.indd 39 06/02/13 11:48 AM c05.indd 40 06/02/13 11:48 AM Conclusion M y hope, dream, and desire is that you see how the organi- zation, structure, and focus of the five-step process can bring you immediate results Just remember that each step is a box, and reward yourself as you check off one box and then go to the next in sequential order Your own voice, style, and presence will come through now that you have so many examples of winning words you can draw from and use to raise money I would love to hear from you about your unique stories—the challenges as well as the successes—because we are together in this journey to be successful in asking for money Please be in touch, and may every ask be your best ask laura@expertontheask.com http://www.expertontheask.com http://www.twitter.com/expertontheask 41 c06.indd 41 06/02/13 11:48 AM c06.indd 42 06/02/13 11:48 AM About the Author H ave you ever wanted to ask for a raise, more personal time, important medical or financial information, or substantial funding for a new venture but were not sure how to go about finding the right words? Bestselling author, international speaker, attorney, philanthropic advisor, media personality, and Expert on the Ask Laura Fredricks has raised millions of dollars for nonprofits and businesses, and is the authority in helping individuals learn the right ways to ask for anything they want and deserve in their personal and professional lives For over twenty years, she has inspired and applied her winning skills in law, communications, business, and nonprofits, speaking around the globe from Moscow to Montreal, Bologna to Boca Raton, Sydney to Seattle, and Amsterdam to Ann Arbor Laura loves to share her personal life-lessons to make the ASK an empowering moment for anyone to get exactly what they want, with exciting and amazing results Her motivational and practical asking advice have led her to a rising media career, where Laura has been featured on Katie, Better TV, Dr Steve, CBS, ABC, and FOX, and within Shape, SELF, Women’s Health, the Wall Street Journal, and Dow Jones Learn more about Laura at http://www.expertontheask.com 43 babout.indd 43 06/02/13 11:47 AM babout.indd 44 06/02/13 11:47 AM ... 06/02/13 11:48 AM | Winning Words for Raising Money The ASK throughout this piece because it can provide backup information for certain concepts presented here In Winning Words I direct a laser... mean the difference between getting money sooner or waiting ages for the person to decide 19 c03.indd 19 06/02/13 11:47 AM 20 | Winning Words for Raising Money Before we dive in, I wish to make an... money or “asking for money that you will see in this piece can be applied to any professional or personal need, such as raising money for nonprofits, getting start-up funds for new businesses